I am so tired. Sleep does not seem to help my exhaustion. I am lonely. I wish I had someone to talk to at night. Just six more months until I have a partner again. I have no idea what things will be like when he returns. Phone calls seem pretty sad now. There is never much to talk about. I never have anything to add to the conversation. It is hard to listen because the girls are always--being girls.
As much as I dislike being a single parent, I have gotten used to it. It has been six months already. He has been gone so much this past year. A few weeks in January. A few in March, a few in April, more in May. I don't like it. Yes, it is good for his career. But when is is my turn? I love being Mom, but I miss being Leslie. I miss being able to go dancing with girlfriends (or husband). I miss just being able to eat dinner in front of the TV. I miss training in Tang Soo Do. I miss photographing weddings and events and beautiful things out in the world. Heck, I would like to be able to shower without my door open so I can let the bathroom get all steamy. I like that.
That is all for now. Everyone is asleep and it is 9:30pm. Time for bed. Good night.
Thoughts and Photographs about Parenthood, Breastfeeding, Tang Soo Do, & Patience.
